GAT adventure ends in a bang!

My buddy Mike and I headed up to the GAT this afternoon for some x-c skiing followed by a hike/geocache. The sun was shining and although it was -19°C with the wind chill, it was only about -10°C in the shelter of the GAT forest.





The trails were very icy in some sections making the downhill stretches "interesting".


Hiking can be quite the task in 4 feet of snow.


We polished off the day by stopping in at one of the Chelsea pubs for a snack and an update on the Olympics. Then we headed for home where my family was waiting for me to take them to "Nanny McPhee".

As I was dozing off in the passenger seat thinking of excuses I could use not to have to see the ugliest nanny in movie history... BLAMO!! I was jarred awake by an SUV who decided to rear-end us in the fast lane on the 417 near the Greenbank exit. I only had enough time to yell, "F#@K-ing hell" before we were shoved into the rear-end of the SUV in front of us. BANG! Things weren't looking too good for Mike's (relatively) new Nissan Altima as my view was blocked by his now scrunched up hood. Damn.



The good part is nobody was hurt. The bad part obviously is the state of Mike's car and the headache he'll have to go through with the insurance company. Maybe now he can buy that new Subaru he was (coincidentally) talking about at the end of our ski trip.

As a sidenote, one of the main reasons Mike and I didn't walk away with black eyes and a bloody nose is because the airbags didn't deploy. It turns out that although Mike's engine was pushed back about a foot, his car actually went under the SUV and as a result his bumper never actually hit anything and hence no airbags. Strange set up. Once again it's not safe for the little guy what with all the SUVs and vans on the road.

And yeah, Nanny McPhee was cancelled for the evening but unfortunately it's only been postponed until Saturday night.

Ciao.

Cindy Klassen

Just in case you live in a box (notably a box with a computer and internet connection), Cindy Klassen picked up a gold medal in the women's 1500m speed skating today.  This makes it her 4th time to the podium in the 2006 Olympics adding Klassen to the history books as she became the first Canadian to win four medals at a single Winter Games.

Although she is not favoured to hit the podium this Saturday in the women's 5000m, if she does she will become Canada's most-decorated Olympian with six career medals.

Needless to say, I hope to hear you all cheering "Go Klass go" on Saturday.

Winterlude 2006

This weekend we decided to invite family and ... well, just family... down for Winterlude's closing weekend. As luck would have it, Thursday/Friday's freezing rain storm covered everything in a thick coat of ice just hours before the temperature plummeted to -34 degree Celius (with the windchill). Ouch! Although it did limit our time outdoors it did not stop us from bundling up and enjoying the final days of Winterlude 2006.

Saturday we skated on the canal...


...and then huddled between the change room building and the canal wall while we quickly ate a round of beavertail. (holy wick it was cold)



Then we headed over to the Quebec side for some brokeback luge races...



...and half-melted snow sculptures. This one scooped first prize.



Strange french-speaking characters...





And Quebec really does have a nice view of Parliment's backside.



All and all it was a blast. Until next year...

Cane Toads

Who out there remembers the 1987 documentary, "Cane Toads: An Unnatural History"? Well I do. I remember catching the last 20 minutes and thinking it was informative, weird, and hilarious all at the same time.

I can still remember the scene with a guy in a VW camper jerking the wheel left and right to run over the slow moving toads. While the "pop" sounded leaving behind another splattered toad, the driver continued to express his distaste for these creatures and the camera kept rolling with an eerie music playing in the background.



As you might imagine, the film has since picked up a cult following of sorts and I recently downloaded off the net (but have yet to check it out).

Background:

"Cane toads were brought to Australia in 1935 in a failed attempt to control sugar cane beetles.

First released in Queensland, they have since multiplied and marched across Australia, poisoning millions of native animals, including crocodiles in world heritage listed Kakadu."

Well guess what? Cane toads are back in the news. Australia is now looking to mash these monsters into a yummy soup to be used as fertilizer. Apparently one of the contraversies over this new idea is the method by which they will collect and kill the toad prior to grinding it up.

He (RSPCA's acting chief executive Lindsay Wilkinson) said hitting toads several times could be considered causing pain and suffering - and would be a contravention of the Animal Welfare Act.

"It is irresponsible and cruel to bash cane toads with implements like golf sticks or cricket bats," Mr Wilkinson said.

"Bashing rarely kills cane toads outright and can leave the creature to suffer a lingering death."

Hmmm, so what are the consequences should you be unlucky enough to get caught holding your favourite putter covered in toad brains?

TERRITORIANS face fines of up to $12,000 for killing cane toads with golf clubs and cricket bats

The ideal solution according the experts is to have a veterinarian euthanase them. However realising that this may not be very economical they have offered an alternative solutions. Hemorrhoid cream.

He said Territorians should don gloves and apply a strip of benzocaine ointment - better known as haemorrhoid cream - for about 25mm along the back of the toad.

"This quickly anaesthetises the toad and then it can be killed humanely by freezing while unconscious," he said.

Hilarious.

"Put another toad on the barbie, mate."

Dutch fans

Honestly, how can you not love the Dutch fans? They bring their own bands to sporting events, they sing songs in support, they smile and have a blast in the stands. No hooligans on "E" running around stabbing people and flipping cars, just plain everyday people enjoying their sport and encouraging others to do the same.

Here are some photos I found depicting the typical Dutch fan in their favourite oranje outfit.

Torino 2006

I love the winter Olympics. Aside from hockey, I enjoy watching the skiing, the ski jumping, and all the various toboggan events - luge, skeleton, bobsleigh. And now that I've got my first bonspiel under my belt I even enjoy watching the curling.

And having been born in the Netherlands, I especially love seeing the Dutch compete in the speed skating events. Day 4 and so far they have been to the podium 3 times. In Nagano they scooped an amazing 11 medals in the speed skating events, cleaning house with all 3 medals in the men's 10,000 metres and gold and silver in the men's 5,000 metres. Hup Holland hup!

Women's 3,000m:

#1

Ireen Wust Netherlands

4:02.43

Today I managed to catch the 500m women's race. Although no Dutch skaters nabbed a metal here, I did get to watch one "Manli Wang" (say that out loud... kinda reminds me of the famous "Long Duk Dong" of the movie Sixteen Candles) from China skate to a silver.

The Haircut

This will have to go down in history as my worst haircut ever.  But to be honest it was my own fault for going cheap.

I had been to Magicuts only once before and although the hair dresser dude did spook me a little when he mentioned that his other job was at Kanata Auto Parts, he still managed to pull off a reasonable cut.  Today however I should have darted for the door.  Here's a snippett of the conversation that should have tipped me off.

"Where do you normally get your hair cut?"

"Ah, here and there but my last cut was by a guy here at Magicuts."

"Oh that must be Alvin.  Actually he was just starting to teach me about cutting men's hair before he quit on the spot last week."

"Oh really.  Where did he go?"

"I think he found himself a mechanic's job or something."

Great.  I was screwed.  By this time I was already half way through the cut and she had me trapped in the chair.

Here's another tidbit of information that she decided to share with me and the 90 year old lady that was getting her hair permed next to me.  I found it somewhat entertaining but unfortunately I think it distracted her somewhat from concentrating on my haircut.

"Tomorrow's my father's birthday.  He's been spoiled a lot lately, what with Christmas and all.  So yesterday I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, Whadda ya want dad, a card or a pack of smokes?  He said, shit that's easy, a pack of smokes."

I wish she had given me the same option, haircut or a pack of smokes?  At least then I could have sold the smokes on eBay and bought a real haircut. Oh well.

No photo will follow.

BvT does the Bonspiel

I spent last weekend curling in Kingston in the Whig Standard Bonspiel. There were over 200 teams competing in four different Kingston area clubs. It was a blast.



As you can well imagine, having only curling once before at a divisional Christmas party, my curling skills were a little ... ahem ... lacking to say the least. Nevertheless we did win one of our 4 games and I managed to fall only once or twice coming out of the hack (and yes, I at least made the shot).

The guys I curled with were a great bunch and we had a lot of laughs between and during games. One of the unforeseen highlights was the house we stayed in for the weekend. It was my friend's wife's father's rental that had recently been vacated by the former residents. As luck would have it, it was located just around the corner from the Royal Kingston Curling Club on University Ave. The very same street where thousands of beautiful university women parade up and down displaying their and winter wear (more like spring as there was no snow on the ground). It was uncanny how these women looked so much alike. Tall, long-legged blondes with their hair pulled back in pony tails. Unfortunately this would represented an exact contrast to the short beer-bellied grey haired men that littered the curling clubs. Oh well, you can't have everything.

The big question is.. will I ever curl again? Yes. But possibly not with this team if they ever want to win.

Snowblasted

After an afternoon skate (nope not on the canal, it's still closed) the kids and I headed over to the Kanata area for a hike. We found a tiny parking area near an old wooden train bridge and while I strapped on my snowshoes and grabbed my backpack with my camera and GPS the kids started off down the snowblasted trail.



It was a complete white-out as everything had been blasted yesterday with nice powdery 16.6cm of snow.



Kids had a great time. Running, sliding, tackling, and dumping snow ladden branches on each other.



One of the geocaches we were looking for brought us to some old stone ruins. Hard to imagine that somebody once called this home. I would love to know when the building last had people living in it.

Blizzard of '06

A snow storm! Yeah baby!!

With nearly 15cm of fresh snow on the ground, and still falling, Mike and I set out with the intention of going for another x-c ski in Gatineau Park. Well we didn't get far (Greenbank and Hunt Club) before we decided that this was not a good idea. The plan then changed from an afternoon adventure in the GAT to touring/pushing/pulling the car down the snow clogged backroads of Ottawa.



It all started when Mike got his car stuck in my driveway. (not overly surprising as his front tires are nearly bald - apparently you can't drive more than 3 years on the original dealer tires Mike). Being the good passenger I am, I pushed him out which he immediately thanked me with a face full of slush. This was a sign of things to come.

Not long after leaving the house (Greenbank and Fallowfield) we watched the guy in front of us roll down his window and rather awkwardly reach out with his full sized windshield scraper to clear off the snow and ice from this front window. I nearly got a picture before his wet frozen arm slunk back inside. Personally I think it was my laughter that caused me the photo.

Anyhow from that point on the day was doomed to be a series of mis-adventures. We spotted cars stuck on islands, another car somehow managed to plow into the snowbank of a completely empty parking lot, an OC Transpo bus stuck and smoking his tires at a stop sign, and then it was our turn (again).

PHOTO: Two girls slammed into a snow covered island. It wasn't long after this photo that there were 8 lonely guys helping the poor ladies get there car out.


PHOTO: Bruce Pit parking lot. How they managed this move, I don't know.


PHOTO: Bus stuck (I just missed the smoking tires with this pic but not the reverse lights as he navigated his way out of this predicament. I don't know why the door to the engine was open).


After travelling the sideroads looking for the "perfect" spot to park a car in a snow storm with absolutely no traction we decided to go for it. It was a cleared parking lot with only one other vehicle (a supercab truck). The only trick would be to get up the small incline to the lot. Well we didn't make it. Stuck. After some manoeurving we then managed to slide down sideways completely blocking the parking lot entrance. Well done.

PHOTO: Mike t-boned in the parking lot entrance.


Thankfully the owner of the monster truck came back from his walk and asked if we needed a hand. (like he had a choice, what was he going to do sit in the parking lot all day and watch us?)

After that we did one more loop around the Kanata trails passing two other busy parking spots before we found what we were looking for - a completely snowless surface with a slight downward grade. Perfect. Time to ski. Kind of...

Turned out that everything was so blasted with powdery snow that we could not manage to find the trail let alone stay on it.




After about an hour of bushwhacking we stopped for a beer alongside a large pond. Standing there staring out over the pond and sipping a cold Grolsch we quickly recognized where the trail should be (we'd been here once before last year). After the refreshing drink and a laugh or two at Mike's tumble in the snow (he managed to get fall down after his skis entangled and soaked his glove in some stinky swamp water) we slapped the sticks back on and crossed the pond to hook up with the trail. It was smooth sailing all the way back to the car after that.

Ricky Gervais podcasts

Ricky Gervais, creator and star of the BBC original The Office and Extras has started a weekly series of half-hour podcasts, along wth Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington. Freakin' hilarious! Check'em out.



Here are the direct links to the mp3 podcasts for you...

Latest episode

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Episode 7 January 16 2006 In which Ricky, Steve and Karl discuss... The pictorial canonisation of St Karl the Bewildered; how fingers that do dishes can feel soft as your face; sound advice on maintaining good neighbourly relations; Karl's choice alter ego; the philosophical truth that is 'cogito ergo Karl'; sowing the seeds of doom; medical technology in the 21st century; monkey news. Download the mp3 file here

Previous episodes

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Episode 6 January 9 2006 In which Ricky, Steve and Karl discuss... Karl's cranial appraisal via email; Oriental homelessness - a global phenomenon; Karl's pick of the freak; Karl's advocation of choice cuts; advice for residents in glazed accommodation; trials and tribulations of the trichologically challenged; animal psychology in food production; experimentation with decapitation; monkey news. Download the MP3 file here

Episode 5 January 2 2006 In which Ricky, Steve and Karl discuss... Cosmetic therapies and facial prejudice; the penile habits of Papua New Guineans; medical applications of single-wheeled transport mechanisms; consumer demand for Russian iconography; some rather woolly thinking about woolly mammoth and the inevitable monkey news. Download the MP3 file here

Episode 4 December 26 2005 In which Ricky, Steve and Karl discuss... the suitability of ungulates as charitable donations; space, solitude and casual nudity in low Earth orbit; shrewd choices of super power; aphorisms remixed in a Mancunian stylee; atavistic elements within Western contemporary nuptials; Orientals of no fixed abode and, as improbably as ever, more monkey news. Download the MP3 file here

And if you still haven't seen the original The Office then check that out too. What are you waitin' for?

Disappear... POOF!

Ever wish you could just make somebody disappear? Well this is a public post read by family and friends so I won't be putting anything on the record here for all to make note of. Let's just say that I sometimes wish it were only as easy as demonstrated in the following photo. Poof!


(photo taken April 2005)

On a lighter note, the canal has reopened for skating. Now I may be going out on a limb here but I don't believe -31°C is the ideal temperature to hit Dow's Lake in the hopes of some family fun - no matter how many hot chocolates you drink.

Yaktrax

What with all the freezing rain, ice, and slushy snow in Ottawa I thought now would be a good time to suggest the following innovative product - YAKTRAX. 

They're hilarious lookin' but I'm telling you right here and now this is what I want for my retirement gift.  No broken hips for me folks.  Until then I'll just depend on my cat-like ability to land on my feet to get me through these Ottawa winters.

BTW, I take a medium.

Where cows fear to tread

Another winter photo.  This one  was taken on my father's farm during Christmas. In the Netherlands farmers use a set up similiar to this rather than an actual gate to keep cows penned in.  The system consists of steel bars spaced just far enough apart to discourage the cow from crossing and breaking a leg.  And who said cows were stupid?



BTW, it actually works.  My father built it about 12 years ago and we have yet to see a cow cross it.  Now if my brothers could only figure out how to cross it safely we'd all sleep better at night.

Ice and snow

Headed out this morning for a x-c ski with the family. Weather was overcast but warm and the freshly fallen snow made for perfect ski conditions. We ended up doing a loop that was about 3km and by the end I had to promise McDo Happy Meals all around in order to avoid a mutiny.

The conditions on some of the back trails made from some ideal photo ops... I just wish I had a little more time to snap the pics before getting yelled at by hungry family members.







These last two pics were taken at my parent's farm over the xmas break but they seem to work themselves nicely into this winter wonderland theme I have going here.